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Sir Didymus
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DIDYMUS: STOP! DIDYMUS: STOP, I SAY! SARAH: WE HAVE TO GET ACROSS. DIDYMUS: WITHOUT MY PERMISSION, NO ONE MAY CROSS. SARAH: I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME. HOGGLE: WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS STENCH. LUDO: SMELL BAD! DIDYMUS: STENCH? OF WHAT SPEAKETH THOU? SARAH: THE SMELL. DIDYMUS: I SMELL NOTHING. DIDYMUS: I LIVE BY MY SENSE OF SMELL. [SNIFF] DIDYMUS: THE AIR IS SWEET AND FRAGRANT, DIDYMUS: AND NONE MAY PASS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! LUDO: SMELL BAD! HOGGLE: OH, GET OUT OF MY WAY! DIDYMUS: I'M SWORN TO DO MY DUTY! HOGGLE: OOH! SARAH: LET US GET ACROSS. DIDYMUS: HOLD! DIDYMUS: OOH! DIDYMUS: I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU! SARAH: HOGGLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DIDYMUS: LET GO OF MY STAFF! DIDYMUS: YAAH! DIDYMUS: HA-HA! LUDO: HMM? DIDYMUS: ALL RIGHT, THEN. I CAN CONQUER THIS MOUNTAIN. LUDO: GRR! DIDYMUS: WHOA! LUDO: AAH! DIDYMUS: AAH! DIDYMUS: HA HA! DIDYMUS: YAH, YAH, YAH! DIDYMUS: THOU MUST DO BETTER THAN THAT! DIDYMUS: GIVE UP? HA HA! DIDYMUS: ENOUGH! DIDYMUS: NEVER HAVE I MET MY MATCH IN BATTLE, DIDYMUS: YET THIS NOBLE NIGHT HAS FOUGHT ME DIDYMUS: TO A STANDSTILL! SARAH: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, LUDO? LUDO: SMELL. DIDYMUS: SIR LUDO, I, SIR DIDYMUS, YIELD TO THEE. DIDYMUS: COME, LET US BE BROTHERS HENCEFORTH DIDYMUS: AND FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT AS ONE! DIDYMUS: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. LUDO: LUDO GET BROTHER. DIDYMUS: WELL MET, SIR LUDO. SARAH: GOOD. COME ON. DIDYMUS: YOU FORGET MY SACRED VOW, MY LADY. DIDYMUS: I CANNOT LET YOU PASS. SARAH: BUT LUDO IS YOUR BROTHER. DIDYMUS: I MUST DEFEND MY OATH TO THE DEATH. LUDO: THE SMELL! SARAH: LET'S HANDLE THIS LOGICALLY. SARAH: WHAT EXACTLY HAVE YOU SWORN? DIDYMUS: I HAVE SWORN WITH MY LIFEBLOOD DIDYMUS: NO ONE SHALL PASS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. SARAH: WELL... SARAH: MAY WE HAVE YOUR PERMISSION? DIDYMUS: WELL, I, UH... DIDYMUS: UH... LUDO: NO. DIDYMUS: YES. SARAH: THANK YOU. DIDYMUS: MY LADY. SARAH: UH-OH. DIDYMUS: HAVE NO FEAR. DIDYMUS: THIS BRIDGE HAS LASTED FOR 1,000 YEARS. SARAH: NO! DIDYMUS: IT SEEMED SOLID ENOUGH. SARAH: HOGGLE! DIDYMUS: FAIR MAIDEN, I WILL SAVE THEE... DIDYMUS: SOMEHOW. LUDO: WHOO! DIDYMUS: CANST THOU SIT AND HOWL DIDYMUS: WHEN YON MAIDEN NEEDS OUR HELP? LUDO: WHOO! LUDO: WHOO! LUDO: WHOO! SARAH: THAT'S INCREDIBLE, LUDO. DIDYMUS: CANST THOU SUMMON UP THE VERY ROCKS? LUDO: SURE. LUDO: ROCKS FRIENDS. HOGGLE: YUCK. SARAH: HOGGLE. HOGGLE: MY DEAR! SARAH: THANKS HOGGLE. [FART!] [FART!] [FART!] [FAAART!] [FART!] [FART!] [FART!]
DIDYMUS: SIR LUDO, WAIT FOR ME! DIDYMUS: OH, AMBROSIOUS! DIDYMUS: IT'S ALL RIGHT, AMBROSIOUS. DIDYMUS: YOU CAN COME OUT NOW. DIDYMUS: COME ON. DIDYMUS: THAT-A BOY. DIDYMUS: MY LOYAL STEED. DIDYMUS: STEADY. DIDYMUS: UP! DIDYMUS: FORWARD. DIDYMUS: AH, STEADY! STEADY, BOY. DIDYMUS: COME ON, AMBROSIOUS. DIDYMUS: JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND GO. [FART FART FART!] [FART FART FART FART!] SARAH: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. DIDYMUS: EXCUSE US. THANK YOU. [JARETH] \I WOULDN'T DO THAT IF I WERE YOU.\ HOGGLE: I CAN'T GIVE IT TO HER. DIDYMUS: WELL, COME ON, THEN. DIDYMUS: WE SHOULD REACH THE CASTLE WELL BEFORE DAY. JARETH: LOOK, SARAH. JARETH: IS THIS WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO FIND? JARETH: SO MUCH TROUBLE OVER SUCH A LITTLE THING, JARETH: BUT NOT FOR LONG. JARETH: SHE'LL SOON FORGET ALL ABOUT YOU, JARETH: MY FINE FELLOW, JARETH: JUST AS SOON AS HOGGLE GIVES HER MY PRESENT. JARETH: THEN SHE'LL FORGET EVERYTHING. [BUBBLING]
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